Your faithful correspondent finds the beach superior in concept to execution. The concept is a sun-drenched paradise, with clear waves gently lapping on the white sand and whales cavorting in the distance. The reality is sun burn, dehydration, sand too hot to walk on and saltwater mosquitoes that drain a pint at a time. In the unfortunate event that yours truly finds himself on a beach, you can be confident that he is looking for the nearest shade.
Inventors to the rescue!
What better source of shade than a beach umbrella? In fact, lots of beach umbrellas.
The Rise of Beach Umbrella Patents Worldwide
In the last 25 years, inventors worldwide filed some 33,000 patent applications and received some 31,000 issued patents relating to beach umbrellas. That’s a remarkable success rate and a lot of inventive energy.
Here’s a sampling:
U.S. Patent 10051931 to Zadie is for a an umbrella with a water tank, pump, and misters located on the canopy. Solar panels power the pump and the misters then cool overheated beachgoers. You can bet that I would be huddled under Zadie’s umbrella.
U.S. Patent 11096458 to Volin teaches an umbrella-within-an-umbrella. When the upper umbrella is rotated and both umbrellas are inverted, they serve as a rain water and leaf collector. One cannot help but wonder under what circumstances one would wish to collect water and leaves in a beach umbrella.
And then there’s U.S. Patent 8733378 to Tayebi, this author’s personal favorite. While not strictly a beach umbrella, Tayebi’s invention is an automatic umbrella that can be worn as a backpack. When activated, the umbrella extends upward from a tube and opens above the wearer. When closed, the umbrella re-folds and returns to the tube. Imagine the convenience! Certainly worth carrying the weight of a motor and battery.
And finally, U.S. Patent 7520485 to Giannetto has this beach thing figured out. An umbrella with a spike to hold the umbrella upright, a table for your beverage and a holder for your rod. What more could you want?
Goodbye summer, it’s been nice to know you.
— Robert Yarbrough, Esq.